Such a Wonderful Day !

Such a Wonderful Day :)
12/27/2014

Yesterday was one of those days that I know I will always remember in my heart. It started with slowly waking up. Three of my friends were at my house for Christmas.

Then a few of us went to get breakfast - a delicious yogurt and banana bread. When we returned we finished our laundry and just sort of hung out for a bit. We made a carrot and cucumber salad for lunch with a fruit salad for dessert. After lunch we played Uno and talked about our dreams. It was a pretty wonderful afternoon. And it was just getting started.

We had delayed going to the beach because of illnesses and Trambo bites, but finally we had decided (since it was the last day of vacation at my site) that we had to make it to the beach. As soon as we saw the shore line we were glad we waited. Our faces filled in smiles and we immediately got in the water.

I got to show off the most beautiful part of my site, what the locals call "Abony la Tabetra" or "above the table" its a rock formation that the waves splash up against. We went there at stood at the edge of the rocks and got sprayed by water. It was so refreshing and rejuvenating. With each splash was giggles and new smiles. And then we just sat and listening to the beach and took some pictures. It was nice to show off a little.

Then we went out for dinner at a place that had been closed all week and ended the night watching Steel Magnolias.

It was just one of those simple, beautiful, I can't believe this is where I live and I am so happy in this moment kind of days.

Merry Christmas to me :) I couldn't have wished for anything better!

Christmas Time

Christmas Time

Written on 12/26/2014

To say Christmas half way across the world was a little different is fairly obvious. But it was. Leading up to Christmas, I was feeling odd. It didn't feel like Christmas. I was sweating perfusively, I didn't feel rushed to buy Christmas presents, wasn't cramming for exams. I was just going about my regular routine, grading tests, teaching classes, helping out at the community center.

It some ways it was eye-opening. Just thinking about how much time and money people spend on shopping and decorating their homes to perfection. If everyone would spend half the time they spend putting lights up on their house to help others in need instead, the world would still be a little brighter place - and also much more energy efficient.

I remember seeing all these posts about "What Every 20-something wants for Christmas." Knowing how silly it would seem to look at it, so I avoided opening any of the links. All I wanted for Christmas was my few volunteer friends to get here safely and for the mail I've been waiting for for the past few months to magically arrive! I'm sure those things weren't on that list...

Luckily, my friends got here safely! (Unfortunately I'm still waiting on the mail...) We had a great time baking with a little convection oven I borrowed from my site mate and spent most of their time here making desserts and big meals and over-stuffing ourselves with American style foods.

Christmas here, culturally, is a little bit different, but also has similarities. Most of my community spent a lot of time at church, wearing the beautiful new outfits they had been shopping for over the past few weeks. Then they had a big meal with extended family. Some people went out to the country side to spend Christmas with their families, and other families had a lot of people come from the bigger cities to here. Some of my neighbors had family come in and the newest baby boy was baptized on Christmas Day.

Overall, it felt like a regular Sunday, but everyone was dressed a lot nicer and there wasn't the same people outside of my community. It was a nice day, and I had the opportunity to chat with my family from home which was nice. It was a little bit difficult to be away - but I know after these next few years are over I'll never experience a Christmas like this again!

My friends and I talked about it this morning, two Christmases from now I'll be thinking about this Christmas. How my friends and I prepared our baking ingredients and then sat around talking waiting for the electrity to come on. The lights would flash on and we would be running to get to work. On Christmas Day, Electricity was on all day!!

How a few days before Christmas, my friend Gabby was bitten by a Trambo ( a very large, very ugly, poisonous centipede) and we all startled awake. Half asleep I got my neighbors who searched my house and helped my friend by pressing toothpaste into the wound. Apparently, it is one of the most painful bites ever. Gabby said for about 20 hours it was like a constant pain and her hand (she was bit on the wrist) was swollen for just as long.

How we spent the next few days, a bit paranoid, searching the entire house for a Trambo before we went to sleep and shaking out every sleeping bag. Every noise was a little troublesome the next few nights at my house.

It was a wonderful Christmas. Definately a bit bittersweet. I think the most difficult part was just feeling okay with where I am. Happy where I am. But not feeling the same as I usually feel during Christmas. It wasn't the same nostalgic, warm, fuzzy feeling (Maybe because I don't think I could get any warmer!) I could remember the Christmases I always had at home, but it was impossible to dupilicate those memories! So instead I made my own.

 Reguardless, I know in my heart that I'd rather be here than anywhere else right now, and that my Christmas back home will be a part of my life sooner than I can even imagine. Time has really flown by and I know now that I'm really getting the hang of living here its only going to fly by even faster! So I'm going to always hold this very special Christmas close in my memories! How often does one have a Christmas in Madagascar?

The Te of Piglet by Benjamin Hoff Review (*Caution* I will rant)

The Te of Piglet by Review

Written on 12/21/2014

A follow-up of The Tao of Pooh Benjamin Hoff, The Te of Piglet is meant to explain a different side of Taoism and why its important in our modern world.

I'll start with saying I read the Te of Piglet in high school and rather enjoyed it. It explained Taoism in a gentle, not in your face way. It was a light, easy read with enjoyable, uplifting quotes.

The Te of Piglet was quite the opposite. It seems like Hoff may have had some opposition to his first book and set out to write a book saying why all the people who dislike Taoism and live the "Western Way" are crippling our society.

Not that I disagreed with everything he was saying, the "Eeyores" who are always negative aren't great to be around, and neither are the too-eager "Tiggers," but they are still important parts of society. If everyone was perfect, humble, and honest - such as in the Utopia Hoff refers to as The Day of Piglet - life would be boring! We need a little balance in the world. A little ying and a little yang - to stay in the Eastern philosophy.

I especially did not enjoy - and those who know me will very quickly no why - his rant about "Eeyore Amazons" who "call themselves feminists" (and if you know me you already know some feminist smashing is about to occur) "But the word [feminist] doesn't quite fit them, somehow. They don't like femininity. Instead they covet masculinity. Strange. Very Strange."

VERY STRANGE INDEED MR.HOFF. I understand where someone who has never felt the need to be a feminist might misunderstand feminism and what it is. And say that it is bad for the world. Why someone who has never been discriminated against because of their gender would say that feminism makes women curse and act like pirates, which isn't exactly "Advancing the Feminine."

I understand where he may be coming from - there are some people who align with feminism that are "masculine." And they may feel they have to act "masculine" to get and hold on to jobs because we live in a biased socieity where being "masculine" is already coveted. And sure, to someone who hasn't had to downplay their gender so they aren't turned into a walking stereotype, I can understand how that may be....confusing.

I would love to go into a work space and act stereo-typically "feminine" and see where it got me. But, that's not who I am. I act "masculine" by taking up space and speaking up and making my voice heard. And if that is "acting masculine" then I suppose I am a "Eeyore Amazon" who is trying to make the world a BETTER place by showing that I am not restrained by the female box I have to check.

And I would say that by speaking my mind and not being held in the constraints of my gender by being "feminine" that I am advancing the feminine - THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

UGH, safe to say I read those pages fairly quickly...

Rant being over, there were some parts of this book I did like. Little quotes here and there that I think are great things to think about and be inspired/calmed by..below are a few snippits.

"But that You you want to see

Is not you, and will never be.

No one else will ever do

The special thing that waits

inside of you."

"What the Taoists mean by Treat gain and loss as the same...They mean don't be Intimidated. Don't make a Big Deal of anything - just accept things as they come to you. The Universe knows what it's doing."

"Reality is what ones makes it. And the more negative reality one nurtures and creates, the more of it one has."

If you want to be genuinely irritated by what Benjamin Hoff has to say, in between moments of actual enlightenment, go ahead...read this book.

Isn't Been 6 Months?!

IT'S BEEN 6 MONTHS?

Written on 12/13/2014

It's true. To be honest, I wasn't quite sure if it had been 6 months or 7 because I am still confused about when I got here. Turns out 24 hours of travel and then anti-motion sickness pills will confuse you a lot. Also, it was pretty much a whirl-wind of 6 months.

When I think about it as a section of my life...I graduated, moved back home, moved half-way across the world, learned a new language, moved into a new home and a new community, made new friendships, started a new job, went on a vacation, went through two different tranings....

BUT, I finally feel like the whirlwind is starting to settle, or at least my brain is a little bit as I start to really feel comfortable in the place I am.

Over these past six months.....

• I've gotten to the point where I can (somewhat) hold a conversation in a Language that, until I got my invititation to serve in Madagascar, I didn't really know existed.
• I conquered the kitchen and learned how to cook rice, make peanut butter, roast coffee, make spagehetti sauce, clean shrimp, curry vegetables and beans, and make GUMBO!
• I have struggled through my first trimester of teaching English when I don't really know the first language of the children. Its gotten a lot easier, but I still have a lot to learn. I can already feel them being more comfortable with me, and my next steps are to get a better control of my classroom and be able to play games without my classroom turning into a small circus. I'm hoping that with games and fun excercises the students will absorb more English.

I'm currently writing this blog to take a break from grading...and let me tell you....its been rough. It's partially just that students are used to test taking because its their first year of middle school, and partially because English is difficult. But these test scores make me question my skills more than ever. I'm hoping that by telling my students we can have fun but we need to be serious and asking them to take responsibility for their learning that maybe it will push them to take that control. Still not sure how I'll do that! But there are some students who are very determined and it shows in their tests!

• With the above being said, I appreciate my teachers, role models, leaders, coaches, and everyone else to has mentored and encouraged me more than ever. Thanks for taking my little sponge of a brain and filling it with knowledge and positive thoughts about myself and where I can take my life. Wouldn't be here without y'all!
• I've become part of a community. The other day I was walking from my house to the Cultural Center and students were saying "Good afternoon!" to me and adults were saying hello. I had multiple people stop to chat with me. And that's when I realized I've really become a part of this community. It feels so so good. I'm really proud of myself. :)
• I have made friends, both Malgasy and American, that have been a part of making me grow over the past 6 months. Friends from different parts of America, who grew up in different ways in different cultures. And friends from Madagascar, who of course grew up in a completely different part of the world, but yet we aren't without are similarities.
• I've held a boa constrictor, had a lemur jump on my head, become more comfortable with the cockroaches that live in my home, and still panic everytime I see something move quickly in fear that maybe it is a spider.
• It's been a great 6 months. And its hard to believe I have 21 months left! It sounds like a lot...until I think about all I have planned! Here is a glimpse of blogs-to-come...or what I am planning to be doing in just the next 6 months!
• Teaching 2 more trimesters of English.
• Start an international exchange between a Girl Scout Troop in America and our Cultural Center's Girls Leading Our World (GLOW) Club.
• Start teaching English classes for middle school children and adults at the Center
• Start a class to prepare for: Write On! International Writing Competition...and then hold the competition in late Feburary so students from my community will send their writing to first a National Competition and then, if they win the National Competition,, an International Competition!
• Go on Vacation for Easter Break for my Birthday :) Woot Woot! 22 here I come!
• Apply to be a trainer for the next group of trainees! (fingers crossed)!
• And thats only the things I know will happen...or at least think will happen...! I can only imagine what I will do that I still have no idea about!

The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison Review

The Bluest Eyes By Toni Morrison Review

Written on 12/14/2014

Toni Morrison's writing is beautiful. I am sure any book written by her would be worth reading. The Bluest Eyes was just another one of her fabulous books.

In the addition I brought with me from America ( a handi-down book from my best friend Anna who read it for a college class), there is a special forward from the author. It made me want to go back to every forward I've skipped and read it carefully.

In this forward written by Morrison herself, the conversation Morrison wanted to get people discussing is the central thought. Morrison describes how she wanted to say something about beauty after she realized that beauty is not something that is often recognized, especially in the beholder. She writes, "Beauty was not simply something to behold; it was something one could do."

Also in her forward, she discusses how her young character, Pecola, was subject to racial self-loathing when she wished for blue eyes to be beautiful. In The Bluest Eyes, Morrison questions not only the racial self loathing it self, but also pokes at the question - where do children, the most vulnerable and impressionable part of society, learn such demonstrative thoughts?

Even after describing how she attempted to get at this question and pick it apart to make sense to readers. And then she wrote something particularly inspiring and illumination to a young writer such as myself, that The Bluest Eye it is something she still isn't completely satisfied with, that "many readers remain touched but not moved."

How could one of my idols, who wrote such an amazing novel, still not think her work is good enough? Because she's a writer of course.

But, Morrison, I must say - I was moved.

Some of my favorite quotes from the novel are:

1. "All the world had agreed that a blue-eyed, yellow-haired, pink-skinned doll was what every girl treasured."

I particularity enjoyed this part of the novel because of Morrison's discussion of girls being taught to fuss over and fall in love with these little baby dolls that instilled a thought in them - that these dolls were beautiful...these dolls were worth fussing over. And also, the idea that little girls are raised to be mothers. There suppose to coddle the little baby dolls and when they don't their families do not react positively. Interesting indeed Morrison.

2. "Along with the idea of romantic love, she was introduced to another - physical beauty. Probably the most destructive ideas in the history of human thought. Both originated in envy, thrived in insecurity, and ended in disillusion."

In case anyone needs a reminder that just as there is no perfectly beautiful person, there is no perfect love either. Perfection isn't a goal that can be reached in love or beauty. Thanks Morrison.

3. "Love is never any better than the lover. Wicked people love wickedly, weak people love weakly, stupid people love stupidly..."

What kind of lover are you?

 Obviously, with a novel based around complex societal issues of gender and race, there is a lot that could be said about this book. But it shouldn't be. Read it yourself. See what this book stirs up in you. Hopefully you'll be moved too.

The First Holiday Away: Thanksgiving

My First Thanksgiving Away

Written the day before Thanksgiving, 11/26/2014

It's official. I am missing my first family holiday. To say there is mixed emotions would be putting it too simply. The truth is, I know I wouldn't want to be anywhere else in the world than where I am now. But still, undeniably, a part of me misses home. Who wouldn't?

I don't long to be home everyday, actually, the thought of not being back in America for two years is rather thrilling. I love where I am. I am beginning to really feel at home in my community. I am working on other projects, planning future vacations around this beautiful country, and starting to make a very flexible plan for the rest of my time here. I am having the time of my life!

I think what is most difficult about this holiday in particular is that no one here knows anything about it. It's a mystical event celebrated half way across the world. Here, Tomorrow is just another day. While all of my friends and family are taking time away from work and school to be with family and friends..my life here continues on as usual.

But "usual" life here is still exciting and new everyday. A few weeks ago I saw a lemur, yesterday a market vendor told another vendor that she needs to tell me the price in Malagasy and not French, and today a student stayed after class just to chat with me.

I have so much to be thankful for! Including my wonderful, supportive family. Even though I cannot tell everyone I love and care for that I am thankful that they are in my lives with a stomach full of turkey, pie, and mash potatoes...I can still celebrate my thankful-ness in my own way.

And thats what this holiday is suppose to really be about, isn't it?

Written two days after Thanksgiving, 11/29/2014

I had a wonderful, beautiful, and simple Thanksgiving at site. It started, officially (according to myself) the night before Thanksgiving when my site mate and I had our own little impromptu Thanksgiving feast with some friends at a restaruant in town, STUFFED CRAB! And deliciously sauteed potatoes. We hadn't intended on going out, but when our friends said the restaruant had a special thing on the menu, we decided it would be our Thanksgiving splurge!

On actual Thanksgiving, I started my day by teaching two classes. The first part of the lesson, I told the students that today was a holiday in America called Thanksgiving. I not only astounded my students by the fact that I actually know Malagasy pretty well by explaining the holiday activities in English, and then Malagasy, I also felt like they really enjoyed this lesson.

I talked about how usually, I'd be going to my Grandma's house and my whole family would be there. We would talk about what we are Thankful for (which when I think about it, we never really did...but I think every family should really start doing that!) and we eat a lot of food until we are very full.

My favorite part of the lesson was the astonishment that while we eat turkey (okolokoloka in my dialect) and mashed potatoes at our Thanksgiving feast, we do not eat rice. My students went wild when I said there was no rice at the Thanksgiving feast. I followed the discussion of Thanksgiving by letting my students ask three questions about America, which ended up being more like 10 questions...

The first question: What do you eat with rice? I said we eat rice mostly with Chinese food. When I said we don't eat rice at every meal, and not even every day, but maybe once a week or once a month they were shocked! What do you eat?! I said bread, pasta, meat, vegetables, fruits. The same things you eat...but with more rue (side dish) and no rice.

The next question..was inevitably going to happen sometime: Do you have children? I laughed so hard and said, no! I am still a madamosille. They all laughed and one student shyly raised her hand and said, “How old are you?” I thought for a second about not answering, saying we don't talk about age in America, but I decided I would go for it, “I am twenty one.” They went wild.

Once I got the students quiteded down, the next question: Do you have a car? I said, “In America?” They all laughed. Yes, they meant do I have a car in America. I said I knew how to drive, but cars are expensive and I just finished school. That question was less exciting than they had anticipated.

It was so fun to share a little bit about myself and what Thanksgiving is. They acutally understood what “I am thankful for...” meant and I think they really appreciated the lesson.

And then we had a take-home quiz....

After my lunch (chocolate chip pancakes and lychees with green tea, my own Thanksgiving feast) I headed over to the Cultural Center, where furniture had arrived and students came every day to read books in English and French. I read a few books to some students and they just kept handing me more! Finally I had to say I was tired, but it was so adorable to have so many students huddled around to listen to English.

I finished my Thanksgiving with a long chat with my mom on Vibr :)

A pretty perfect Thanksgiving if I say so myself! And no madness of Black Friday shopping to follow. 

In Service Training

In-Service Training

Written on 11/29/2014

A few months after being at site, Peace Corps has a In-Service Training to talk about working on Secondary Projects and writing grants and such. One week is just with the volunteers, the other week each volunteer brings their Malgasy counterpart to talk about the next steps they can do in their community.

A week ago, I finished my IST, and it took me a while to write about it because I couldn't think of anything to write about. We spent most of the time sitting in training sessions, not exactly thrilling writing material. But, I remembered there were a few moments that were interesting and worth sharing!

1 - Making Gumbo

This had nothing at all to do with training. But, it was one of my stage-mates birthdays and he asked for my friend, Lindsey (from Louisiana near New Orleans), to make a Gumbo and I volunteered to help out!

Volunteers aren't often allowed in the kitchen and it was so exciting to be back there. I was amazed by how small the space was and how exhausting it was cooking for 30 something people. And these women do it everyday for 3 meals! I thought I was drained after cooking one meal, I can't imagine how these women feel at the end of the week!

I was a sous-chef, so I ended up mostly just chopping onions and stirring rue - I STIRRED THAT RUE FOR 2 HOURS! But it was still really fun! The cooks were so excited and interested to see what we were doing. The rue was especially confusing, its basically fried flour, something they clearly hadn't seen before because they were looking at us like we were two insane Americans who had know idea what we were doing. They thought maybe we were confused about how to fry poultry.

But when they saw, smelled, and tasted the final product they knew we weren't crazy! It was so much fun to work in the kitchen, and now I know how to make Gumbo! It was so delcious. Handsdown the best meal I've had in a long time.

2 - Counterparts!

It was so cool to share experience with the Malagasy counterparts. One night, we were all singing along to different people jamming on the guitar. Although most of the songs were in Malagasy it was really fun to be a part of that experience.

My favorite part about having the Malgasy counterparts there was when we talked about the different values each culture has.

Deciding what American values were was difficult in its own way, but we decided that the most important value for them to know was that Americans, typically, value individualism and independence. Which is why it was hard for 29 Americans to agree on what the core American values were. We all have our own and thats important to us. And it ended up being much different than the Malgasy value of family and kinship. They stick to their family like glue, and we are half way around the world from our family right now.

We also learned more about the importance of saying hello and visiting friends to show we care about them and don't feel like we are too cool to say hello. It was an important lesson on culture and helped me understand my Malgasy community a little bit more, and hopefully helped my Malgasy counterpart understand all the weird things I do a little bit more.

3 - Permagardening.

We had a training on Permagardening, a type of gardening that although is a lot of work at first, helps create a sustainable and easily maintainable garden. You create berms and holes to slow down and direct water into the plant beds and "double dig" to make sure soil is soft enough for the roots to really be able to grab hold.

The double digging technique also allows more plants to be grown in a small space and can be a really beneficial gardening tactic for a large family so that they can feed the whole family a more nutritious and vegetable filled diet. And even have a little bit more money for meat!

It was a really interesting training and its something worth thinking about doing, at my site and even back in America. And it was fun to get out of the training center rooms and get out of seats and out into the community to do some work.

If you're thinking about creating a garden I would encourage you to look it up. Its worth a peek. 

Buddha in The Attic by Julia Otsuka Review

The Buddha in the Attic by Julie Otsuka Review

Written on 10/27/2014

I will make this short and sweet just like this wonderful little novel. Julie Otsuka uses imagery and a verse like writing style to tell the tale of a group of Chinese women that travel across the ocean to America in search of a better life in the years before World War II and attack on Pearl Harbor.

The rhythm of her words make this book a quick read, like swimming across smooth waters. Otsuka uses a collective voice that unities the women in her story, but still uses individual stories to push the narrative along. Its a very unique and beautiful style of writing that makes her novel like a 129 page poem.

Through the beauty of Otsuka's writing is the tragic story of these women's lives. They left everything they had and traveled miles across the ocean to get what they had been promised by their husbands-to-be, a dream life. When they arrived on the west coast of the United States, they found far less than the perfect life their husbands had wrote home about.

They worked endless, back-breaking hours as farm workers or housemaids. Some had made it into a Japanese part of town and enjoyed a life not too different from what they had left. They had children, they lost children. Some learned to love their husband, others dreamed of murdering him.

No matter what kind of life they were able to build, the attack on Pearl Harbor changed everything again. Some were left to live alone while their husbands were arrested. Some lost jobs they had worked hard at since there arrival. All were banished from their home, leaving everything behind again for an unknown destination.

Otsuka beautifully tells the tale of such a tragic time in American history and makes each woman's story impossible to forget. 

First Week of Classes!

The First Week of Classes

Written on 10/24/2014

Three weeks ago, I went to the Director's office and asked if my schedule was ready. He laughed and commented on how "misoto" (a word that doesn't really have a English translation, but means being disciplined) I was, and said that the schedule would be ready by Wednesday because of the electricity problems my community has been having making everything take a little bit longer than usual. Even though class was suppose to start the Monday, October 6th.

Long story short, After many visits to my directors office, the schedules were finally posted last Friday! Which meant classes would officially begin this past Monday, October 20th.

I will be teaching four classes of beginner English, what is similar to the 6th grade level, each class being 50-60 students. I don't know my students ages, but my guess is my students range from 10-18 - most of them being about 12. There are a few students in every class that I'm assuming, from there extremely bored appearence and the fact that they already know everything I'm teaching - that are repeating the 6th grade, which has already proven to be difficult.

My first official day of class I only had one class in the last time slot of the day. I made my way over to my classroom and started to get things ready to go. Class was going smoothly until clouds rolled over the sunlight and made the room extremely dark, so it was impossible to see the board. Then, it started pouring so it was impossible for the students to hear me. Luckily, the rain didn't last long and I was able to at least introduce how to say greetings and introduce yourself, but unfortunately they weren't able to write anything down. But still, first class = success.

The next day, I went to a class, taught it wonderfully. I made my way to the teachers lounge and when I walked in they all started laughing...I had spent the past two hours teaching the wrong class. Luckily, it was the right level and they were suppose to be learning English at that time. Unfortunately, both classes were confused there following class when they had a new teacher.

A big struggle of the week was still not being great at Malagasy. Not so much for my students, they understood what I was trying to say most of the time with hand gestures and such, but for me. Most students were really nice and understanding of the fact that I'm not great at English, while others continually mimicked my Malagasy or said thinA gs like "She doesn't know Malagasy!" While watching my class.

Which brings me to my other struggle, the continual and very talkative audience for each of my classes. At the beginning of every class, students enter my classroom and as soon as I begin to speak, a crowd of students starts building outside my windows. It's not always a bother, but it's really hard to focus on teaching with a constant audience of students just staring but not learning. Its different for me, and I am different fort them. I'm sure once they get used to me it will decrease, or I'll get used to them.

My favorite part of this week was teaching the verb "to be." I taught pronouns (I, You, He/She/It/We/They) and then the conjugation (am, are, is, are, are). And then lastly, a few fun adjectives (Happy, Sad, Good, Bad, Okay, Fine). While teaching the adjectives, I made silly faces with hand gestures to help them remember. Then I had students come up and we said what pronoun and conjugation, and then I tried to get students to make the different faces. They thought it was so funny. It usually ended up being me making incredibly silly faces (aka the classic grumpy cat face for "sad") while the students I brought up to help laughed and then attempted to make the funny faces...or just laughed at stared at me until I let them sit down.

I still have a bit to work on with my teaching - most notably my timing and board management. But even from the first class to the second class I can tell students are getting used to my style of teaching quickly and I am excited to see their English skills increase slowly but surely! 

Shrimp Sauce! Yum!

Crevette Sauce: The Recipie from Heaven.

Written (and eaten) on 10/3/2014

Before I left for Madagascar many people asked me a similar question, "What will you be eating there?"

Not have any idea, but knowing rice was the staple food, I replied with, "Rice."

Four months and endless spoonfuls of rice later, I can tell everyone that I was correct. Rice is the staple food here in Madagascar. It is eaten as the main dish for breakfast, lunch and dinner with a side dish ("loka in Standard Malagasy, but "rue" here in Mahanoro). I am fairly certain I have already eaten more rice here than I have ever in my entire life.

There is a saying here, "Tsy vary, tsy voky" which means, "No rice, not full." I am constantly made fun of for my small portions of rice and I astound my friends when I cook meals without rice. The other day I ate lunch at my friends and we had a spaghetti dish called a compose (spaghetti with green beans and carrots, mash potatoes, mayonnaise, and an assortment of meats). When the meal was over and I was sufficiently full, they went outside the kitchen and brought back a bowl of rice to complete the meal.

That being said, I am writing this blog for a reason: To share the amazing recpie I made today (that included rice) with the world.

I was taught how to de-head and de-skin (otherwise known as "clean") shrimp the other day by a friend and was determined to create my own delicious meal with shrimp in the near future. I was looking through the cookbook that PCVs had made and given to the trainees, entitled Mampalicous (which is a play on "to make delicious." All verbs in Malagasy start with the letter "m". If you want to make a verb reflexive - you are doing the verb to something or someone) you add "amp." My friends are always confused when they see it because it means nothing in Malagasy.)

I saw this recipie, commenced salivation, and decided I would make it today. It was with-out-a-doubt the best meal I have made myself here in Mahanoro.

Okay, okay. Here it is.

(My edits are in bold. I have a hard time following recpies ver batum. Mostly because I usually make mistakes or forget to buy an ingredient. Also because I am only cooking for one person a lot of the time and not for a small family. What I made serves two people..or one person for two meals if you save the leftovers for supper).

Crevette Sauce (Natalie Kruse, Ifarantsa)

Ingredients:

6-10 small tomatoes (I used 4. Not for any real reason except that I only bought four at the market.

2 small onions, chopped (or about 1/2 a big onion)

2 small green peppers, chopped (or one big green pepper)

1 small bunch green onions, chopped

Salt, pepper and curry to taste (I added a little bit of cayenne because I wanted my sauce to be a little spicy)

3 cloves garlic, minced

1 Tbs sugar (I just put some sugar in. I have no idea how much)

2 Tbs oil (again, I just eye-balled it)

1/2 can tomato paste (I used a whole can which is about 2-1/2 Tbs tomato paste)

1/2 kilo shrimp (I used about 15 shrimp, I am assuming the more shrimp you use, the more people you can feed)

Steps:

1. Clean the shrimp and set aside. Start boiling water.

2. Blanch the tomatoes (This is why you started boiling the water). Slip of the skin. cut into chunks and set aside.

3. Saute garlic, green peppers and onions in oil until translucent. (I misread this and put all the onions in but save the green onions for later).

4. Add tomatoes, sugar and a little bit of water. Cook for 10 minutes.

***this is where you should start cooking your rice***

5. Add shrimp and a little more water. Cook for 8 minutes (I didn't add more water because I felt I added too much water at step 4.)

6. Add spices, tomato paste, and enough water to achieve desired consistency.

7. After a few minutes, ADD THE CHOPPED ONIONS and let cook for another 5 minutes. (..ops...)

8. Serve over rice! You could also use pasta. I wanted to use pasta but there wasn't any at the market today. Also, I bought bread to sop up all the sauce because I didn't want to waste ANY of it.

9. Maztoa! (Enjoy!)

First month at site!

The First Month at Site!

Written on 10/1/2014

I have officially been at site for one month! *Applause*

Its been so wonderful having some time to relax and get to know Mahanoro. For the first time in a long time, I have had the chance to really take it a day at a time. It was a lot of making sure I left the house and doing my best to improve my language skills every day.

My favorite part of this past month of no obligations has been having the time to just meander through Mahanoro and get to know the streets and the people. In America, it was so uncommon for me to have the opportunity to just walk around aimlessly without worrying about getting back in time to finish homework or get to work on time.

The other day, I left the house to get sponges to wash my dishes and I took the long way and just enjoyed soaking up the sun. It reminded me of "Dolce Far Neinte" from Eat Pray Love. The sweetness of doing nothing.

That being said...I am extremely excited for the next months to come because I start working at the school on October 6th!

I'll be teaching 6eme (the equivalent of 6th grade)! It will be the students first experience with English, which will be fun and exciting but, of course, not without its challenges. The other day I was working on a lesson plan for teaching the verb to be...which doesn't exist in the Malagasy language. But luckily being an American gives me an edge of quirkiness that will hopefully keep students interested. From my experience practicing teaching in training, I know 6eme can be quite maditra (naughty) and I've been told by many that I'll need to be a strict teacher to keep them in line! Hopefully I can find a happy medium between being strict and having a fun class! I know I've had teachers who found a way to make it work, and I'm hoping I can have the same fun, respectful, and engaging environment in my classroom.

My site mate is also returning to site soon and we will (hopefully) start our community center in Mahanoro this month! I am excited to see what will become of this project and excited to get the community involved in making it happen! Its been so nice to get to know everyone and I've been talking up the community center a lot to all the people that have wanted to learn English and everyone seems interested in getting involved.

And when Novemeber roles around I'm already working on planning a little vacation with my stage mates to Andasibe (a National Park) and then I have In-Service Training for two weeks at the end of November. Just in time for all of us to be together for Thanksgiving!

It should be an exciting month of actives and work, but hopefully I'll still be able to get my days of sweet nothingness in!

Freedom by Jonathan Franzen Review

Freedom by Jonathan Franzen Review

Written on 9/30/2014

At a point in this monster of a book, a character reads War And Peace in a three day marathon of reading. At the end of it, she feels as though she has lived and entire compressed lifetime.

I finished Freedom in three weeks and then it took me a week to grieve the loss of the life I lived vicariously through the characters before I could write this blog post. Just as trying to sum up the life and value of a person at their funeral is beyond complicated and not without its difficulties, so is explaining how moved I was by this book.

Franzen unfolds the distorted perfect picture of suburbia in the Burglands - a nuclear family with an always working father, Walter, stay-at-home mom Patty, hardworking older sister Jessica, and independent younger brother Joey....and Walter's rock star college friend Richard Katz.

A seemingly perfect family dissolving into madness isn't an entirely new concept for a book, but the way Franzen tells their story - with multiple perspectives and intensely intricate details always kept me reading late into the night.

As an entire work Freedom is about all the different types of love that exist in modern day America and how every one of them can drive you into insanity and/or grief. Not just the love for your partner, children, parents, friends, and yourself - but the love for competition, money, basketball, ambition, music, horses, sex, drugs, obsession, and any other object of affection or devotion.

Each character has many passions that build depth beyond the characters of many novels I've read before. Patty is a competitor that, as an empty-nester, has run out of things to compete for leaving a feeling of emptiness in her life. Walter is compassionate about the environment and changing the world that pushes him to the point of a fanatic nature freak. Joey wants more than anything to independently become financial superstar at age 19 and gets into a bit of a conundrum in his attempts. And Richard Katz thoroughly enjoys not caring about anything enough to really be in love with it - a true rock star persona.

What was missing from this book was really Jessica - I can't tell you much about her - and the book could've done without intense descriptions of environmental issues that although added to the madness of Walter's conservation aspirations, was hard to get through when I knew I still had millions of questions unanswered at hundreds of pages left to read.

Although, I must admit when I finally turned the to the 562nd page, I was weeping because the life I had lived with the Burglands was all over and was left hoping for a few hundred more pages with this family I so loved and had just started to admire. 

Spiders...oh my!

Spiders.

Written on 9/27/2014

Normally I'm not one to chat about the negatives in a situation, but I feel like the situation unfolding in my house could turn into a positive one...or at least not as negative as it feels right now.

There are spiders in my house. True, there are spiders in every house. They are just a part of being a person. Theres good things about spiders too, they eat mosquitoes and other bugs, and aside from be creepy looking, don't bother people.

The spiders at my house could and probably do eat cockroaches. THEY ARE HUGE. The first time I saw one it was O.K. I was able to avoid its space and continue with my day.

The next time one scurried out of my backpack up my arm, and after a hard swipe away from me down my leg. NOT O.K. I am not usually one who likes to kill animals, especially spiders because of their helpful qualities. But I decided at this point that this creature needed to die.

My problem was that because I was so mortified from the experience of having a gigantic spider crawling on my body, I didn't want to get anywhere near it. Instead I spent about five minutes staring at it hoping the people in the office across from me weren't watching this entire encounter unfold.

I looked quickly around my room for something to smash it with. My running shoes and a broom caught my eye. Without moving to quickly, as to not scare this gigantic creature, shoved my shoe at the end of the broom and slowly crept it closer to the spider.

I made my attack and found out that not only are these spiders disgustingly gigantic, but also terrifyingly quick and crawly and creepy. I had no idea where this crawling nightmare went, except that it had scurried to the direction of my bed.

SPIDERS 1  -  ME 0

I was sure the little bugger (as I don't want to curse on this blog..but you can put any type of vulgar expression in place of guy and it would fit) was awaiting its revenge in my pillowcase.

Before I went to bed that night I checked every inch of my bed, checking my pillow case and every crevice of my sheets with a flashlight. After deeming my bed safely spider-free, I pulled my mosquito net down and started tucking it into my bed.

Just as I reached the last tuck near my headboard, I saw it. The spider. Alas, a different equally terrifying spider sitting just inches above my pillow just outside my mosquito net. I dare not get out of my spider-sheltered bed, and had nothing but a book to my disposal to swat at it with. I stared at that...bugger...for a good 30 minutes hoping it would decide to leave. It didn't.

I kept looking at that book but, unfortunately (at that moment) I rather enjoyed and  wanted to finish the book and new there was no way I could read it with spider guts on it, and this spider would most definitely leave a lot of entrails. I decided my best bet would be to scare the spider to scurry up to my roof.

Thankfully, the spider decided to run up to the roof on its own and I was left alone to stare at my ceiling in fear until I finally fell asleep.

SPIDERS 2 - ME 0

I hadn't seen a sign of a spider in a few days...until today. I was cleaning up for lunch and walked into my kitchen and saw the carcass of a spider in THE MIDDLE of my floor. I half expected to look up at my walls and see some terrifying phrase written in blood.

Yes. That was a reference to Harry Potter.

I swept the carcass away and I KID YOU NOT, that creepy little bugger started to move again. It just happened to start to die of natural causes IN THE MIDDLE OF MY FLOOR. I am now terrified that its spider friends saw me put it out of its misery by feeding it to the chickens outside my kitchen and thought it was cold blooded murder.

SPIDERS 2 - ME 1

Obviously, I am a bit psychotic. Luckily, I've chatted with my Malagasy friends and they all assured me that no spiders here bite (and that cockroaches don't either)...so theres that. And my sitemate informed me that in time they don't look as big...which I'm sure was meant to be reassuring but still left me wondering whether there is something bigger and scarier lurking in my room.

Nonetheless, I feel I tackled my first truly terrifying experience in the Peace Corp without too much grief. Yay! And I am sure in the next few months I won't jump five feet in the air and scream like a little girl every time I see a spider.

Ups & Downs of Week 3

Ups & Downs:Figuratively and Literally

9/22/2014

Down: Started off the week just feeling exhausted. I didn't feel like integrating or really being a part of my community for a day so I stayed inside for an entire day and only left to go to a little store nearby to get food to make.

Up: Decided to go out and by coffee and had a wonderful day anyways! Just sitting and drinking coffee and reading a book. It was wonderful!

Down: While reading, I realized I have no idea what I am going to do when I get back to the states and had an attack of what ifs! Such as...what if I can't get a job? What if I get a job, love it, but I can't pay for rent. What if I don't like my new job? What if I really miss being in Madagascar? WHAT IF WHAT IF WHAT IF!

Up: Talked about the above with a friend and realized the great part about the next two years is I have some time to really think about what I want to do with my life! :) And that I really need to focus on the moment more!

Down: Rachel and Ross broke up and got back together TWICE in one day! I couldn't even handle it....and I also realized I am way to obsorbed in Friends.

Up: The next day I met a new friend and we walked to the beautiful rocks by the ocean. I realized my Malagasy has gotten a lot better while I was talking to someone new! I can actually talk to people! I was told about the mermaids that possibly exisit and a bit about the culture of having a spouse die.

Down: While out on the rocks, I slipped on a rock and busted my shit...get it..I literally fell down. I have a few bruises on my knee/shin/ankle. But other than that its fine!

Up: I made it through my third week at site! I feel like I am starting to really feel at home here and I'm excited to start having teacher meetings next week and then October 6th I start teaching! YAY!

Week Two!!!!!

Week Two!

9/16/2014

I started to write a description of all I've done the past week and realized thats not something I really feel like doing every week I'm here! No one wants to know the details of my weeks!

I'm still not sure how to go about this whole blogging thing. But here is a list of funny/interesting things I've done this week.

Went to see "the table" of Mahanoro which is a rock formation by the ocean that was BEAUTIFUL. I'll have to get a picture of it before I leave! I still don't like carrying my phone around but I'm sure someday in the next two years I'll have a camera day.

Saw a group of (maybe) french people who looked like wilderness explorers roaming the street complete with nerdy glasses hiking boots and backpacks. My friend nudged me and said (in Malagasy) "the one in red....your boyfriend?" It was so fun to joke around and was one of the few jokes I actually understood right away.

Ate the most delicious meal of shrimp, potato salad, beans (and of course rice) at my friend's families house. At the lunch, I became aware that there is a Muslim community and mosque in Mahanoro that his family is a part of. I thought I was hearing the call for prayer and now I can put a place to the sound.

Kicked ass in many a game of dominoes.

My friends wanted to "help" me make food. Which meant laugh at how weirdly I do everything. They kept helping me with little things and teaching me how to do things I already knew. I was laughing that I knew how to make food...when I spilled my rice all over the floor and proved I really don't know what I'm doing.

Explaining to my friends that I don't need a boyfriend...which was apparently hilarious.

Went to Church on Sunday! Either I've done a fantastic job at integrating or they said something about my work here at Church because I've had less people say "bonjour" to me and more people either say "Good Morning/Afternoon" or "Akory!" instead!

Watched the Mahanoro vs. Votamangy (not sure about spelling on that one) soccer game. It reminded me so much of watching soccer games in highschool and filming games in college. It made me really think about how much fun it would be to assistant coach cross country at some point in my life.

Saw a CHAMELEON! It was on a tree in my friend's brother's yard just hanging out. They are strangly calm animals. A little girl came to grab it from the tree (still not sure why) and I actually saw it change colors at it fell to the ground and was put on a stick. Not dramatically, but it definately changed. 

First Week in Mahanoro

First Week at Site

Written on 9/8/2014

So here I am! Finally at that mythical place called "the site." I've experienced my first week here and have been enjoying every moment of it. Its nice to have independence again and with the independence comes a great sense of confidence with every thing I do solo, like going to the market, buying food, making friends and such.

 I live on the middle school compound, which is like a fences in area where the school is, with the principle and vice principle and a guard (and possibly other people but thats all I'm sure of).

My house is a beautiful new house that was just finished being built before I arrived.Its a wooden home with a palm tree roof that still smells like freshly cut wood. The floor is cement and needs to be swept all the time because its impossible to keep the sand that is my yard out of my house. Right now I only have a bed in my house, but I might get a bookshelf made for my clothes at some point.

I eat on a woven mat that I bought at the market. Which is actually really nice because it reminds me of when I would sit on the floor and eat on my coffee table in my old apartment in Minneapolis, except I have no coffee table...

I have a seperate building thats all cement with my kitchen and shower in it. I have running water (and electricy!) but the generator thing at the electricity company was broken recently so I've only had electricity for a few hours a day or not at all. And sometimes the water was shut off too but to get water from the pump is only about 50 yards or so away. So its been a week of turning things on and off to see if they work.

But anyway..my kitchen/shower...I had a table made this week (which arrived on Saturday) for my gas stove and water filter. Its a nice little table with a little shelf underneath it wear I store my pots and pans. I have  a few little lizards that inhabit my kitchen whom I've decided shall be dubbed Izzy and smaller Izzy. Although there might be more than just two...

My bathroom is a public kabone that is fenced off so I have two holes at my disposale. Pretty nifty.

Enough about my house...Integrating into the community has also been fun, but can be really exhausting. Its been a lot of going to the market and walking around and struggling to keep a conversation going when I have to have someone repeat things multiple times or explain what one word means.

BUT, I've still manages to make a few friends :) First, theres two teenage girls (orginally it was three but only two have continued to hangout with me) who were selling food to a missionary group that was staying at the school as well. I sat and chatted with them and now sometimes they stop buy and we go on walks and swap vocab. They told me when to say the greeting "Manakory" (in the morning) and when to say "Mbarakaly" (in the afternoon) and that it's weird when I say it from far away and when no one can hear me. And then applauded me when I said Mbarakaly at the socially acceptable moment.  They also taught me a Malagasy song and I taught them an English, Girl Scout song, "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold." Which I've translated to "Its about friends." I don't think they fully grasp how adorable it is that we are singing it together.

I also have made friends with a family who sells mofo and cafe near my house. Their mofo akondro (fried bananas) are amazing and they know I love them. I am always a little bit dissappointed when I don't time my breakfast right and end up there before they are made. The family is a Mom, Dad, an older son and a younger daughter. They teach me new words and introduce me to people. And mostly just give me a place to hangout for an hour or so while I eat my fried banana and drink my coffee. They were really close with the past volunteer that lived at the middle school as well. Its really sweet how much they still talk about him.

The other day they introduced me to my newest friend who is actually my age! She is really sweet and has a 2 year old son who is adorable. Today I left the little cafe that the family has that sells the bomb fried bananas with her and we walked around and met the princple of the Lycee and saw my site mate's house. We also talked to the people who run the Catholic Church, maybe the priest? I'm not sure how he was affliated besides that the man I spoke to lived on the church compound and spoke slowly so I could understand him. While I was chatting with the church fellow, my new friend went and got coconuts and we went to her friends to cut it open and enjoyed fresh coconut water. Which is incredibly refreshing on a sunny day like today!

Other funny things that have happened this week:

I accidentally bought a hat at the market. I said they were nice hats and asked if she made them herself. And then the women started selling one to me and I got nervous and just bought it. Its a beautiful hat...but it's too small and doesn't fit on my head...

I kept hearing the sound of a pig squeeling and thought I was going insane until I went outside and saw a pig had CHEWED a hole in my fense and was standing in my yard. We had quite the staredown. I got a picture of it. Haven't seen it sense. Probably because its terrified of my glare.

Bought a kilo of greenbeans not thinking it was that much. I've had green beans for the past 5/6 meals and still have a meal or two left of green beans. Note to self: never buy a kilo of anything.

Ants got into my kitchen and were all over my table and my bin for washing dishes. After drowning some of them I decided to use my lighter to set them on fire. While chasing them around my table with the lighter I got too into it and dropped my lighter. It broke. Had to buy a new lighter.

Went to my kabone (bathroom) and while the sun was setting. Saw a few cockroaches around the hole. At first thought about not going to the bathroom and just using my PO, but then decided I would just pee on them. Went to squat and saw that they weren't just around the hole. They were everywhere. EVERYWHERE. Proceeded to leave my kabone and just use my PO. Will not be taking a dusk trip to my kabone again anytime soon.

Pre-Service Training (That's Happened)

Pre-Service Training..That's Happened*

Written on 8/30/2014

Most importantly, yesterday I was officially sworn in as a Peace Corp Volunteer [YAY!].
As we were listening to the speeches at our swear in ceremony, our Country Director Dee said that when she landed in her first country of service and heard she was a trainee she had the same thought I had....No no...I'm a volunteer! What was all the signing and testing and all the other things that had consumed so much of my time the four months before leaving the states?

But, now I know that I had a lot to learn. Pre-Service Training (PST) is almost impossible to explain. I feel as though most training consisted of sitting in rooms while a PowerPoint was read and doing group activity after group activity after group activity. Everyday was filled with information about language, education, health, safety, security, and probably a few other things that have now gotten lost in the mix along the way.
We spent a few weeks living with host families, learning about the culture and practicing new language skills. After that, we were living in the Training Center in Mantasoa. Living at the training center was an experience that was weirdly like a summer camp. We had breakfast, snack, lunch, and dinner intertwined with classes or other activities. Some days, it felt like every second of my life was scheduled - a challenging change for a recent college grad who was used to do everything the way I wanted when I wanted.

All and all though, I see how this experience, although taxing and exhausting, was a necessary part of this experience. I can tell by the way I accidentally say Malagasy words on the phone with my mom that I have learned the new language, the healthy habits that have become (almost) second nature, and my sometimes overwhelming knowledge of past security issues that I have learned way more than I could have anticipated in 3 months.

But now that that part of this experience is over, tomorrow I will move to my site and will get back to being an independent individual. Making my own meals, taking care of my own schedule and home, and hopefully meeting many new friends :).

*"That's Happened" was something the Training Manager said often when speaking of past experiences with other trainees....and now something the trainees volunteers say just as often.

Three Positive Things

Three Positive Things

Written on 8/18/2014

Two times a year Peace Corp sends out a magazine with whats happening within the Peace Corp Community and with helpful hints to making your years volunteering abroad as successful as possible.

In the last issue, which we actually received about a month ago, had a section about stress relieving techniques. On the list of possible activities was keeping a journal with three positive things that have happened each day. Although writing in a journal every night has been as much as a struggle as trying to blog about things happening in my life here....I decided I would take on the challenge of starting another journal.

My first time writing, I realized how challenging it was to think about the positive things that had happened throughout the day. Normally before bed, I was thinking about what I was going to do the upcoming day, or in the next few weeks, and sometimes even what I was going to do over the next few years. Writing three things that had happened that same day felt awkward.

After a few days, I realized that even throughout the day I was making mental notes of how great the moments I was in were. How beautiful it was that a little girl was coming up to me and showing me her English notebook from a class I taught and was so enthusiastic about having an English conversation with me. The wonderful conversations I had with people who I had just met a few months ago. The pure bliss that came from playing with nine puppies at once.

Doing this little thing each night before I went to bed not only made me lay a head full of positive thoughts down on my pillow, but had also helped me focus more on the present. Don't get me wrong, I still have had a few panicked thoughts about what I am going to do after these two years are over, but they've been happening a little bit less. Instead, I'm finding myself having a lot more moments of just being pleasantly pleased in the moment I am in.

Thanks Peace Corp Times!

The Ebola Virus Outbreak

Ebola Virus Outbreak & Being a Peace Corp Volunteer (in Training).

Written on 8/18/2014

Being abroad with limited internet access means I am the last to know most things, but because of Peace Corps multiple ways of communication, we were all notified of the cautionary evacuation of volunteers in Guinea, Sierra Leone and Liberia due to the Ebola Virus outbreak in those countries.

Once my email updated I learned about the details that caused Peace Corp to decide to evacuate the countries. No Peace Corps Volunteers or Trainees had gotten sick, but many knew people in their community who were sick and some knew host country nationals who had passed away from the virus. The Peace Corp wanted to evacuate their volunteers to make sure everyone in country was kept safe and healthy.

Just a few days before hearing about this, we had done an exercise about teaching students reading comprehension in English using a passage about the Ebola virus. We learned how it spread through all bodily fluids and its symptoms included an excess of bodily fluids (i.e. Diarrhea). Because of limited resources, many countries do not have receptacles for bathroom needs (such as latrines) or ways to easily wash their hands (access to clean water).

My grandmother heard about the news and emailed my mother, who sent me a message on Facebook to notify me. For most news issues, I would've been the last to know, but luckily because of Peace Corps notification system, I was already prepared for my moms worried words. My mom wasn't overwhelmingly worried, but it did spark a conversation I wasn't expecting.

I told my mother that the things that can help prevent or contain the Ebola Virus (such as access to clean water for hand washing and receptacles for bodily fluids such as latrines) are things that even in Madagascar, I use everyday. But in some countries, due to limited resources, many people do not have access to both or one of those essential prevention techniques. My mother remarked on how amazing it is that these little things that we use without even thinking about it protect us everyday. Just another example of something millions of people take for granted every day.

And that conversation reminded me of why I felt it was important to volunteer abroad. Its true many people in America need assistance. But its also true that our country has more resources than many countries all over the world. This was just one basic example. Later that week, we were told about a volunteer in Madagascar who helped a community by working with them to create and receive grants for a latrine building project. It doesn't seem like a life altering project, but makes a small difference towards a happy, healthier community, country, and world.

Book Review 3: The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down by Anne Fadiman

The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down by Anne Fadiman Review

Written on 8/19/2014

When someone in my literary journalism course spoke of this book in my last semester of college, I knew I had to read it. The way she spoke of the journalistic nature of this non-fiction work, the acute description of culture, and the simplistic yet complicated angle of modern medicine intrigued me. Before I came to Madagascar, I was searching through the social sciences section of Half Priced Books and I stumbled upon it. I couldn't be happier with my decision to purchase this book and take it with me on this journey. It even had a reference to a Returned Peace Corp Volunteer from Micronesia! How relevant!

The first thing that struck me was Fadimans way of creating the tension between the shaman healing ideals of the Hmong people and the techniques of modern medicine. The main character of this story is Lia Lee, a hmong girl who was born with Epilepsy, described by the Hmong as a disease where "the spirit catches you and you fall down."

Modern medcine cures ailments of the body, which conflicts with the Hmong idea that illnesses and problems come from ailments of the soul. As Lia's mother, Foua Lee states, "Your soul is like your shadow. Sometimes it just wanders off like a butterfly and that is when you are sad, and that's when you get sick and if it comes back to you, that is when you are happy and well again."

The concept that problems and illnesses are associated with the soul and not directly to the body make it difficult for modern medical professionals to treat patients from the Hmong culture, not to mention stark differences in other cultural practice and the limited communication between them because of lack of interpreters and if interpreters are present, a difficult time interpreting medical jargon into easily digestible concepts in a language that does not have words for diseases, but instead different ways your soul can wander or be taken away.

Fadiman explains in exceptional detail through extremely immersive reporting why the Hmong have kept so strong to their traditions and why they, for lack of a better expression, do what they do. The Hmong are a people without a distinct nationality because they have never belonged to a nation. The history of their voyages from country to country are astounding and inspiring.

Similarly, the story of the Hmong's immigration into America is astounding...and profoundly troubling. In a country that preaches freedom for all and was begun as a place to escape prosecution for belief systems - the way the Hmong were and are treated is appalling. Fadiman shows readers how the Hmong were spread throughout the country and the goal was to assimilate in the "American ideal of assimilation in which immigrants are expected to submerge their cultural differences in order to embrace one shared national identity. E. pluribus unum: from many, one."

Perhaps one of the most heartbreaking instances of how America has failed to live up to its preached freedom for all comes from Foua who states, "What I miss in Laos is that free spirit, doing what you want to do. You own your own fields, your own rice, your own plants, your own fruit trees. I miss that feeling of freeness. I miss having something that really belongs to me."

This feeling of dependence and loss of freedom goes strongly against the feeling that many American's have that, as Judge Michael Hider stated at a Nationalization Ceremony Fadiman attended, "everyone...has the same opportunity as the person sitting next to you," which is an American ideal that has proven time and time again to be, unfortunately, far from the truth.

Fadiman researched the many different ways the Hmong refugees were mistreated and misunderstood by policy makers, medical professionals, government officials, and members of their community just because they held strongly to their cultural beliefs and didn't assimilate in the ways American culture pushes many to assimilate.

This beautifully written and wonderfully reported really made me think about cultures independently and what happens where cultures collide - a topic very near and dear as I get closer and closer to my journey as a Peace Corp Volunteer. This book not only had me thinking about what values and ideals the Malagasy people around me may hold on to, but also what parts of the American culture that I've brought with me that I will need to let loose from my grasp.

As Fadiman states near the end of this work, "If you can't see that your own culture has its own set of interests, emotions, and biases how can you expect to deal successfully with someone else's culture?"

If you don't immediately go find and read this book, you're making a mistake. I've passed it along to another PCT and she is thoroughly enjoying it already!