2015 Resolutions

2015 Resolutions

Written on 1/3/2015

*FYI - This is a very introspective blog post*

There is something about the New Year that just makes you reminisce and think about how you can take those steps in the upcoming year to be a better you. Pair that with the endless thoughts that washed up on me as I sat on the beach in Mahambo, Madagascar and its fair to say I have a few ideas for personal changes to come.

There is something so rejuvenating about the ocean, I don't know if calming rush of the ocean waves, or the taste of the salt water, or maybe its the fresh, cooling, breeze that lets you breathe easy. I took some time to really think about how I want to change this year. There are some obvious, typical resolutions; I want to work out at least three times a week and I need to start flossing more to keep up my dental hygiene. But as I soaked up some sun (through my protective layer of sunscreen, of course) I started thinking more deeply about how I want to change as a person.

This will be my only full calendar year in Madagascar serving with the Peace Corps. There is something truly special about that. And I've decided that I want to embrace this opportunity to the best of my ability. Not every day is perfect, but I want to start embracing those imperfections and see them as opportunities for growth instead of challenges to hold me back.

The idea of focusing on growing positively got me thinking about my Top Five Strengths (Gallup Strengths Test, I learned all abour them in my time as a Community Advisor in Housing and Residential Life at the University of Minnesota). Specifically, two of my strengths have made the transition to life here in Madagascar particuliarily challenging.

One, is my Relator strength. Being a Relator, I value close, personal relationships. It takes me longer to let people in, and once I do I have a really hard time letting them go. Being half way around the world, I've noticed that many of my personal relationships I had left back in America are withering away and its been really difficult for me.

In the coming year, I want to focus more on the relationships I can be building here, with my community and other volunteers. Not that I want to totally cut myself off from my friendships in America, but I've decided its time for me to start making healthier choices when it comes to my friendships and let friends aren't interested in staying connected go.

Relationships are two way streets, and I can't be putting so much energy keeping relationships going in America. Instead, I need to focus more of that energy on building relationships where I am. I need to trust that the friendships I've built in the past are strong enough to sustain this distance. And the friendships that aren't strong enough are friendships that I might be better off letting go.

The other strength that has challenged me is my Futuristic Strength. As a futuristic thinker, I am always ten steps ahead of where I am right now. My freshman year of college I realized if I planned out the next two years I could graduate a year early. I had Peace Corps in my sights A YEAR AND A HALF before I graduated from college. Planning ahead has always been beneficial and comforting for me.

Its impossible to plan that far in advance here, and its been hard on my mental health thinking of what my life might be like when I get back. Where should I apply for jobs? What jobs should I apply for? Where do I want to live? Do I want to live with other people or alone again? Should I stay close to home? Do I even want to be in America again?

Obviously all of those questions are impossible to answer here but hard not to think about. The opportunities when I get back are endless....and thats terrifying. I keep telling myself that planning for my future is okay. Its okay to spend the quite days at sight, or some time before bed, thinking about what I really want in my life. There is nothing wrong about that.

What is hurting my mental health, is trying to plan happiness. Asking, where will I be most happy? Is a stupid question. I've decided its time I take some of my own advice and remind myself that I can choose happiness no matter where I am, who I am with, or what I'm doing. Thats a day to day choice. I can choose to go anywhere and to do anything and I know that no matter what I do or where I am I can also choose to be happy.

So thats my ultimate resolution for 2015; To choose happiness, to choose friendships that make me happy, to wake up everyday and put a smile on my face, and to remind myself that in the future it will be just as easy to do the same.

And also...I should really start flossing more....