Feeling 22?

Feeling 22?

Written on 4/21/2015

Last week was my birthday, and although I usually make my birthday a big day, I just wasn't feeling making a whole debacle over my special day. In the morning I taught two of my classes "When?" and "When is (holiday?" I taught them "birthday." And then the final question on their exercise was "When is Miss Elizabeth's birthday?" I wrote the question hoping to check their comprehension, and it worked! The student's said they didn't know, and when I told them it was today, it was fun to see them get excited. After correcting the exercise, I taught my students the birthday song and they sang to me. It was a precious little lesson.

I went about my normal day, made a special meal of mac n' cheese. Went to the center where the librarians excitedly greeted me with a "Happy Birthday!" and hugs. And then I bought a big chocolate bar with my dinner and went to sleep.

But before I went to sleep, I found myself feeling kind of down. I wasn't quite feeling 22 (thanks Taylor Swift). I found myself thinking about all the things I am missing out on. I missed my friend's senior year of college, and a full year of all of us being 21 and together. My friends are getting in increasingly committed relationships and going on dates. Basically, I have almost no social life here. I questioned myself, "Am I even enjoying my youth!?"

But alas, I was hit by a moment of clarity. Although I am not enjoying the same type of 22 as most of my friends, I'M PURSUING MY DREAMS AND LIVING IN MADAGASCAR. And when I get back, it's not like I will be an old maid. And although I'm thinking of going back to grad school (I'm not sure if I said that in my blog yet....I'm thinking about doing Grad School for a Master's in Public Administration following Peace Corps)....Even though I am doing grad school and continually working on my dreams - and no so much my social life - I still have wonderful people in my life.

I just worry, like many worry, that maybe I am focusing too much on my career and my professional goals instead of my personal goals (although I'm not even sure what those are yet). But I am still proud of myself for all I have accomplished and just because I am working hard to get to where I want to be professionally, the personal part of things will fall into place with it - because you can't plan everything. I can't even, really, plan my professional life! I just need to focus on now, and start thinking about my next steps, but remember that nothing is ever set in stone.

So maybe I'm not dressing up like hipsters, or making fun of my Ex's, or going out at midnight...but I'm still feeling 22!